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Unhealthy, Sad Relationships have some
general notable characteristics in
common. Here are some basic guidelines
for reference.
Avoidance – Many people in unhealthy relationships simply avoid facing reality. There are many reasons for this. For instance, deep down inside, the people involved may be trying to make themselves appear superior. Or perhaps they don’t want to face the fact that their mates really aren’t who they say they are. For example, Person A might cover up and make excuses for his mate, Person B, who is always late
coming home from work and almost always misses family functions. Person A could be trying to avoid
reality and make up excuses to cover up an affair that Person B is involved in so that it doesn’t destroy
their “perfect image” in everyone’s eyes. Or Person A could be avoiding the fact that Person B is a
workaholic.
Burnout – Although many can carry out romance throughout their entire relationships, the actual
honeymoon period does have to end, in reality. And those who can keep the “love” fires burning, not 24
/ 7 but off and on regularly during their relationship, have better chances of healthier relationships than
those who suffer burnout and don’t know where to go or who turn to for unhealthy solutions. In short,
every relationship has its highs and lows. During the low times, like maybe when one person begins to
feel disillusioned with marriage, or maybe trapped, tired, helpless, depressed or let down, if this person
reaches out to unhealthy alternatives, like getting a fake substitution – maybe seeking another mate in
secret, getting “high,” or some other negative behavior, once-healthy relationships can suffer. Instead,
the couple needs to face issues together; add some new goals to the relationship, do some fun things
together more, talk more, etc
Compatibility Issues – Opposites attract; or do they? Sure it’s great to have some “spice” in your life.
But relationships are about getting your needs met – at least on some level. And constant negativity can
certainly hinder intimacy. So those who have a difficult time focusing on what attracted them to their
mates in the first place can suffer unhealthy, sad relationships, constantly in conflict over issues with
which they can’t agree.
Devotional Void – A lack of commitment or ardent love can make for unhappy relationships. Being
friends or roommates is one thing. Being committed, loving soul mates is another. Being “in love” 24/7
doesn’t necessarily have to be a requirement, but being in a “loving” committed relationship can make
the difference.
Enthusiasm Dwindles – If you don’t add in some spice once in awhile, you can get the same old, same
old. Couples caught up in routines can lose that spark of enthusiasm; i.e. zest of life in their
relationships if they forget to be spontaneous once in awhile or forget to flavor their relationship with
fun, adventure, romance.
Forgiveness Void – No one is perfect. Mistakes are a part of life. Those unwilling or unable to forgive
can pretty much count on having more unhealthy relationships over time. Relationships based or
growing on anger, spite, disgust, resentment or other negative feelings associated with lack of
forgiveness are like wilted flowers. They need tending to or they’ll die.
Guise - Simulated relationships or those under the guise of having a solid, happy relationship are not
destined for success, on the whole. Or rather false is as false does, as Forest Gump might say.
Pretending wears thin and doesn’t last long.
Harm – Harmful thoughts, words and actions can sure lead to unhealthy relationships. An occasional
outbreak during a stressful moment might be considered normal like swearing; i.e. if someone hasn’t
been raped, battered (or other sever trauma has occurred) by the other party. However, harmful, violent
actions such as those and repeated verbal negativity is abusive and not healthy in relationships – or life.
Avoidance – Many people in unhealthy relationships simply avoid facing reality. There are many reasons for this. For instance, deep down inside, the people involved may be trying to make themselves appear superior. Or perhaps they don’t want to face the fact that their mates really aren’t who they say they are. For example, Person A might cover up and make excuses for his mate, Person B, who is always late
coming home from work and almost always misses family functions. Person A could be trying to avoid
reality and make up excuses to cover up an affair that Person B is involved in so that it doesn’t destroy
their “perfect image” in everyone’s eyes. Or Person A could be avoiding the fact that Person B is a
workaholic.
Burnout – Although many can carry out romance throughout their entire relationships, the actual
honeymoon period does have to end, in reality. And those who can keep the “love” fires burning, not 24
/ 7 but off and on regularly during their relationship, have better chances of healthier relationships than
those who suffer burnout and don’t know where to go or who turn to for unhealthy solutions. In short,
every relationship has its highs and lows. During the low times, like maybe when one person begins to
feel disillusioned with marriage, or maybe trapped, tired, helpless, depressed or let down, if this person
reaches out to unhealthy alternatives, like getting a fake substitution – maybe seeking another mate in
secret, getting “high,” or some other negative behavior, once-healthy relationships can suffer. Instead,
the couple needs to face issues together; add some new goals to the relationship, do some fun things
together more, talk more, etc
Compatibility Issues – Opposites attract; or do they? Sure it’s great to have some “spice” in your life.
But relationships are about getting your needs met – at least on some level. And constant negativity can
certainly hinder intimacy. So those who have a difficult time focusing on what attracted them to their
mates in the first place can suffer unhealthy, sad relationships, constantly in conflict over issues with
which they can’t agree.
Devotional Void – A lack of commitment or ardent love can make for unhappy relationships. Being
friends or roommates is one thing. Being committed, loving soul mates is another. Being “in love” 24/7
doesn’t necessarily have to be a requirement, but being in a “loving” committed relationship can make
the difference.
Enthusiasm Dwindles – If you don’t add in some spice once in awhile, you can get the same old, same
old. Couples caught up in routines can lose that spark of enthusiasm; i.e. zest of life in their
relationships if they forget to be spontaneous once in awhile or forget to flavor their relationship with
fun, adventure, romance.
Forgiveness Void – No one is perfect. Mistakes are a part of life. Those unwilling or unable to forgive
can pretty much count on having more unhealthy relationships over time. Relationships based or
growing on anger, spite, disgust, resentment or other negative feelings associated with lack of
forgiveness are like wilted flowers. They need tending to or they’ll die.
Guise - Simulated relationships or those under the guise of having a solid, happy relationship are not
destined for success, on the whole. Or rather false is as false does, as Forest Gump might say.
Pretending wears thin and doesn’t last long.
Harm – Harmful thoughts, words and actions can sure lead to unhealthy relationships. An occasional
outbreak during a stressful moment might be considered normal like swearing; i.e. if someone hasn’t
been raped, battered (or other sever trauma has occurred) by the other party. However, harmful, violent
actions such as those and repeated verbal negativity is abusive and not healthy in relationships – or life.
