1) Always keep your heart open and the rest truly takes care of itself.
If you will only focus on keeping your heart open to your spouse or partner (and the other people in your life as well), then your communication will start to become a gift to them instead of something to be uncertain of or get defensive about.
Is this always easy-- no way.
But if you make this a practice, they'll feel it and miracles will start to happen in your relationship and life when you communicate from this place of pure love, openness and giving.
2) Don't ask your spouse or partner to go places emotionally or do things that you aren't willing to do.
We hear from our coaching clients all the time some version of "She won't talk to me" or "He won't share his true feelings with me" when you've also been pulling away from them.
If you want your partner or spouse to talk to you, be there for you emotionally or act in ways that you want--very often you have to "go first" and be more of what we call an irresistible invitation to love.
Trust us when we say-- the payoffs are incredible when you do this.
3) Another one of the true secrets to communicating and connecting is you have to Tackle Your Fear Demons
Fear makes cowards of us all and it's one of those things that causes you to pull back, hesitate and not say what's on your mind with your spouse, partner and the other people in your life.
The trick is to to recognize and become aware of the fear that comes up within you instead of doing everything you can to resist it and pretend it's not there.
So many men and women spend so much energy resisting the truth about their thoughts, their feelings and their life that they shut down and are constantly worried about what their spouse or partner will say or how they will react if they say what's on their mind.
To get good (or at least better) at communicating and connecting-- you definitely have to face your fear communication demons--whatever they are.
If you have any challenges with holding back your words or are afraid to share anything that's true for you out of fear of how the other person might react or what they might say or do...