Saturday, 12 December 2015

9 Things You Should Never Be Ashamed Of During Sex

Posted By: Jamaican Relationships


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1. Strange Sounds
You know that awkward tummy fart that happens when an air pocket comes between you and your partner and creates a very obvious "PFFFFFFFT" noise? Or when you queef? Or when the sexy moan you thought was going to come out turns into a dinosaur noise? Even at its hottest, sex is still a very primal activity, and the noises that come with it aren't always as romantic as we'd like them to be. Unless you're literally blowing raspberries with your mouth with each thrust, there's no reason to be embarrassed about any sounds that happen during sex.

2. How Long It Takes You To Come

If you are faking orgasms because it takes you a while to achieve a real one, stop. While the general range of time it takes a woman to reach her big O is 10 to 20 minutes, and the average time for men is 7 to 14 minutes, there really is no "normal" when it comes to coming. So whether you need an hour or a minute to climax, just relax, enjoy the ride, and help your partner get off if they still haven't. If your timing is affecting your sex life, though, there's nothing wrong with trying out new techniques to change things up a bit.

3. Not Being Able To Get Aroused

Some guys have a hard time getting it up, some women have a hard time getting wet, and none of those people have anything to be embarrassed about. Many times, our bodies and brains aren't connected sexually, and you might feel a little betrayed by your genitals when your heart is saying, "yes," but your nether regions are saying, "no thanks." For women, the problem can often be fixed with some more foreplay and lube, and plenty of men find that masturbating for a minute is a good way to get themselves hard. But if your body's lack of cooperation is making things too difficult, don't worry about having to postpone your sexy time for another day. Though, if it's a regular occurrence, consider seeing a doctor to find out if there's an underlying medical problem.

4. Not Being Able To Orgasm

As much as we all want to orgasm during sex, it sometimes just doesn't happen. But before you even think about faking it — Really, I see you thinking about it. Stop — consider changing how you view the goal of sex. Blame it on society, porn, or anything else you'd like, but a lot of us have really been conditioned to think that an orgasm is the reason to get down and dirty. Don't get me wrong, it's a nice perk, but when you start to think of the goal of sex as a way to become closer with your partner, try new things, or just have fun, it becomes much easier to relax during the act. Not getting to the summit of your sexual mountain is nothing to be ashamed of; it's the climb that counts.

5. Farting

Look, when your legs are spread, there's stuff happening down under, and you're not completely focused on holding things in, it's pretty much a miracle if a little toot doesn't squeak out. It's ok to feel a little embarrassed over passing gas in the heat of the moment (but don't blow your bum trumpet as hard as you can, obviously) as long as you don't let it ruin everything else that's going on. Besides, a little wind downstairs is a sign of a healthy digestive system, and that's pretty sexy. Right? Right?

6. Saying "No"

There are thousands of things that can happen during sex, and you can turn down any and all of them at any point you want. It doesn't make you a prude, and it doesn't make you boring. Maybe it's something you're not ready for just yet, or maybe it's something you'll never be ready for, but no matter what, your boundaries should never make you feel like less of a person. If your partner can't accept your own sexual preferences, then they don't deserve to see your hot body naked anyway.

7. Hair

Full disclosure: If a hair on my body is not an eyelash, an eyebrow, or on my scalp, I want it gone. In fact, I used to be straight-up obsessed with making sure that I was the posterchild for a Venus commercial before coming anywhere close to taking my pants off. So it took a while for me to understand that if my pubes were only slightly prickly when it came time to get busy, it was really not a big deal. No matter how you groom your pubes (or if you prefer to let them grow wild and free), it should never be a cause of embarrassment during sex. Of course, if you and your partner differ when it comes to hair quantity preferences, it's always good to talk it over and see if you can reach a compromise ... or if this is just a sexual relationship that isn't going to work out. But never allow anyone, including yourself, make you feel bad for something your body grows naturally.

8. How You Orgasm

Acknowledging that I both look and sound like a velociraptor when I climax was an awkward but necessary part of my sexual growth. I don't know if there's a magic number when it comes to the radius of your back's arc or the decibels of your moan when you orgasm, but if there is, I'm definitely not hitting it. Screw it, though — your O is your time to let loose and express your ecstasy the way you want to. So scrunch up your face, roar like an angry bear, hell, do a tapdance if you want, but when your big moment finally arrives, don't hold anything back just because you think it might look a little weird.

9. Your Body

If somebody is having sex with you, they probably think you are really, super hot. We all have things we want to change about our appearance, whether it's having more or less fat, the shape of our nose, or that birthmark that kind of looks like a dragon, but not enough to make people think you have magical powers. But here's the thing: The person you are sleeping with also has their own insecurities, and they're things you probably don't even notice or care about. If somebody's evolved brain is instinctively telling them that you'd be a great person to reproduce with (or even if you've never had sex in your life), tell your insecurities to eff off. People aren't lying when they say that confidence is the sexiest trait you can have.


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